Sleep for each of my babies has been a very different experience - my first was a “cat nap” kinda baby while my second slept much better initially and my third seemed to fit right in and so far has been the best sleeper.
I’ve learnt a few things from these different experiences and I wanted to share them for those in the deep end of sleepless nights who may be looking for some advice and actionable steps.
SAFE SPACE TO PUT BABY
My first piece of advice is to have a safe place to put baby down for when you are overwhelmed and overstimulated. This space is for you to put baby down so you can take a minute or two to walk away and regulate yourself - a baby crying for a minute or two while you regulate yourself and tend to your needs (such as getting a drink or going to the toilet) is much better than possible alternatives. For a newborn this might be a bassinet while an older baby this might be a play pen or cot.
My first used to scream for what felt like hours and this was an absolute saviour during the moments I found myself at the end of my patience. It meant i could put my baby down - knowing they were safe - and step outside of the room for a minute to breathe some fresh air and have a sip of water. I was then able to regulate and return to help my baby soothe.
For my second and third babies, I could put them down and knew they were somewhere safe while I attended to my other children if they were having a particularly rough night. It’s a way to be kinder to yourself while ensuring your baby’s safety.
THE BEST NIGHTS BEGIN DURING THE DAY
From experience I’ve found that how a night goes can be heavily influenced by what happened during the day.
For me I’d like my baby to give me the longest sleep stretches between feeds during the night, so during the day I feed on demand and encourage baby to have their fill of milk by regularly offering it during wake windows. As my baby is breastfed it is less likely to overfeed them and they stop when they are finished.
I play and interact with my baby as much as possible during the day - by talking about what I’m doing as I potter around the house doing housework or actively playing with them. During the day we keep the environment light, have the normal sounds of daily life going (such as the dishwasher, music, kids playing, washing machine, etc), I don’t keep the room dark or quiet for the baby to nap during the day as I want them to know that daytime is for play (stimulation).
LOW STIMULATION NIGHTS
At night time I do the complete opposite of what happens during the day. I keep noise low, rooms dim and don’t interact with baby after bedtime other than fulfilling their physical needs such as feeding, burping, changing, and comforting. I keep the routine the same - quick, quite and consistent. I’ve found this helps get longer stretches of sleep more consistently during the night. From my experience Baby tends to settle faster this way and sleeps longer stretches.
I keep everything I need beside the bed and baby sleeps within arms reach for easier wakings, feedings and changes overnight. From nappies and wipes, to the baby medical pouch and burp cloths - it’s all there.
I hope some of these tips help you realise you are not along and help you and your little one find more of a routine. Please remember it is normal for babies to wake up during the night frequently especially during the early weeks. Be kind to yourself and patient with your baby - you will get there!
DISCLAIMER:
Every baby is different and what works for one may not work for another.
Always follow the advice of your healthcare professionals.
